‘People change as we grow’, that unfamiliar clarity singing in my brain. What is the protocol for when a reliable friendship morphs into something cold and unknown? Didn’t we put our effort into making it work with precise strategy? Or was that the breaking point to all our problems? I’d like to say that i know the answers to everything but at this point, I’m still figuring it out. I hope you hear me out for one last time…
Why were you so special?
I’ve had a few friendships that dwindled over time. I could blame it on the lack of interest or the college life, which consumed most of the time, but none of it has been bad like ours. It would be a white lie if I said that I don’t think of you every single day, because I really do (maybe too much) . My feelings may come off as a bit complicated as deciding whether to continue a friendship that has changed for the worse.
How it all began…
Your love for the theatre was how our friendship began – I was minding my own business, walking the hallways when I heard that our college was having an open audition for students to showcase their talents and in hopes of joining the drama club. Little did I know, I walked into something special that would spark a newfound friendship unlike I ever had before. We hit it off instantly and before long we did everything together, watching lame movies from early 2000 to debating on where is the best place to eat. We hung out in the same group constantly, it was never a boring and gloomy day with you. Soon enough, I fell head over heels in love with you but little did I know that was the recipe for disaster.
So here’s why it turned blue…
You were raised in a very conservative family and we both have very different religions, so I knew it was going to be hard to tell you my feelings. I was pleased to know that you too had feelings for me and we ultimately gave it a shot despite the countless differences between us. I finally had a more-than-friend who I could rely on. But like every bad teen drama, things didn’t last long.
Like a house of cards
You soon became increasingly aware of what people snark and talk about, and became overly critical of everyone around. We spoke about these issues for what seemed like hours and things always returned to normal at the end. But after a few months, our issues have moved into unfamiliar territory. Things started escalating from that point on.
We started the talk on everyone’s mouth in college and soon you parents found out about our relationship and things were starting to become uncontrollable to deal with. It had a huge effect on us and what used to be an open conversation has now turned into one-liner messages with snarky text-blasts. Arguments went underground in exchange for petty passive-aggressive behaviors. It was the final straw when we could no longer talk and act the same way without bringing up the same problems. We both realized that we were in a toxic relationship and it’s best to put a pause and eventually detox on what we had.
I don’t blame you for anything as I am grateful to have met you as you have been nothing but the most gracious, loyal and wonderful friend I could ever asked for. I wish nothing but the best in the future for you.