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English

Malaysian student’s Open letter to my beloved Stress

Dear Stress,

When was it that you came to my life? Because there was once a time, when I didn’t know you- and everything was perfect. I miss the carefree person that I used to be when I was 6. Now you are stuck with me like an estranged family member and I have to resist your harsh visits till the rest of my life.

Source: https://www.mamazing.nl
Source: https://www.mamazing.nl

Was it you, or was it me, dear Stress?

I understand that it wasn’t all your fault to scream at the top of your lungs when I could not finish the assignment or the time when I had to ditch the university parties while I knew my crush was going too.

It probably has to do with the way our lecturer gives students the death stare. When he does that, everyone will guiltily admit to messing up their final project badly. At the same time, we are all faced with a tyrant of general dysfunction in our social life.  But blaming you was the only way I had control of myself and it was the easiest thing I could do.

“What’s wrong with you?”  or “Why are you fed up?” – my concerned family and friends asked, and I mumbled to myself with shame “Oh, I’m just stressed up…nothing to worry about”. But that’s the thing, is not okay and is not fine.  It’s not all right on how we are forced to accept and scrub it off because we believe that this will be over soon.

How to lose you for good, dear Stress?

Source: PictureQuotes.com
Source: PictureQuotes.com

The best repellent to get rid of you is to lay in bed and lose myself in a good book. Or perhaps to turn my bedroom into a mini disco room – it always makes me laugh. Hanging out with my mates is the strongest force to drive you out of my system. Friday nights are simply the best as I throw all the responsibilities and dilemmas I have out of the window.  I guess  I can appreciate you for that…. These moments make me feel like a 6-year-old all over again, at least for awhile.

But then… you are good for me sometimes, dear Stress

Source: Pinterest
Source: Pinterest

Even though I hate you a lot, you do look out for me. The time I had to pull through my presentation and I was reluctant to go full out, my palms were sweaty and I kept rehearsing multiple times until I knew everything by heart. Guess what? When the real presentation came, it was super breezy for me, because you made sure all of my toxic emotions were drained out. You made sure to use me up to my fullest potential so that I was able to do my presentation with clarity.

Remember the time, You forced me to talk to my crush who was always sitting in the library listening to indie rock songs on his phone, you made me said ‘hi’ and now we are good friends. I pretty much appreciate you for turning me into a nutjob.

Let’s negotiate

My sincere apologies that you are stuck in this ‘relationship’ with me till eternity. But how can I ever accept you in my life when I am  30…55…68? Because you will give me more emotional drama than I have now.

So let’s negotiate! I will allow you to havoc my life for at least the whole term, but you must at least give me some semblance of sanity after the final semester is over.

Deal? (….please say yes…)

Yours,

xoxo